Jerry Seinfeld 'Devastates' Wife's Rival By Calling Her An AssassinSPoor Missy Chase Lapine. The beleaguered cookbook authoress wrote a tome called The Sneaky Chef, about how to deceive children, that was later plagiarized (maybe!) by Jerry Seinfeld's wife Jessica in a book called Deceptively Delicious, which was also about lying to little ones. Lapine was brave/stupid enough to publicly accuse Seinfeld of plagiarism, which awoke the sleeping giant Jerry. He went on talk shows and said things like: "If you read history, many of the three-name people do become assassins. Mark David Chapman and, you know, James Earl Ray. So, that's my concern." Lapine says this was "devastating" and is now suing Seinfeld for slander: "I have never felt so frightened and vulnerable as the day my daughter, 7 years old, came home from school and asked, 'Mom, what is an assassin?," Lapine told the court. She also said that she maybe "made a big mistake talking to any reporters because now this billionaire is angry and attacking me everywhere." Which is probably true! You do not want to get billionaires angry. Hell, you don't want to get millionaires angry. They'll just mess with your life as long as they want because they have more money than you and you'll always have to stop first. So, whether or not Lapine was plagiarized doesn't really even matter anymore. The Seinfelds already won, as they always will. Oh, and the saddest part of the whole thing? She'll never be on Oprah. "Four times I attempted to be a guest on Oprah. I was rejected each time." Devastating indeed. Image via New York Times