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    I Am Slightly Underwhelmed By Lindsay Lohan's Paris Fashion Week Debut

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    Rabbi: Michael Jackson Thought He Was A Lizard and Madonna Was A Jealous Bitchface. Seriously.

    read more: #therearenobitmarshmallowsjustbitactors, #javierbardem, #philipseymourhoffman, #jakegyllenhaal, #halloween, #defamer

    Javier, Philip, and Jake Are Fortified With 8 Essential Vitamins And Iron

    You may recall that about six months ago, we posted a Photoshop contest winning entry featuring the inspired casting of Javier Bardem as everyone's favorite Prince of Dark Chocolateyness, Count Chocula. We said at the time that we'd definitely shell out for such a movie were it ever to be made, and threw out the suggestion of Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jake Gyllenhaal to play his monstrous kiddie cereal cohorts, Frankenberry and Boo Berry.

    Just in time for Halloween, the same digital artiste who conceived the original has sent us his rendering of our proposed dream cast in the breakfast mascot roles they were clearly born to play. Seriously—we don't mean to toot our own horns here, but Jake channels his delicious inspiration right down to those half-cocked eyebrows, wonky smirk, and sleepy boo eyes. What are you waiting for, Hollywood. Poor some milk on this sucker and make some magic happen!


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