The Communist Party in St. Petersburg says Olga Kurylenko, the Ukrainian-born model who plays a Bolivian agent in the latest Bond film, "Quantum of Solace," has betrayed her roots. "In the name of all communists we appeal to you, prodigal daughter of poor Ukraine and deserter of Slavic world," the party said in an open letter dated Oct. 21 and posted on their Web site Friday. The Soviet Union "gave you free education, free medical care but nobody knew you would commit an act of intellectual and moral betrayal that you would become a movie kept girl of Bond, who in his movies kills hundreds of Soviet people and citizens of other socialist countries: Cubans, Vietnamese, North Koreans, Chinese and Nicaraguans," the party said. Sergei Malenkovich, head of the party's regional organization, told The Associated Press..."In this movie they wanted to show that a Ukrainian girl sleeps with an American. It's a part of information and psychological war."Sure, Bond is actually British, not American, but we can understand how a minor detail like that would get lost amidst the waves of devastation and shame washing (equally) over all the deserted Slavs. For her own sake, we hope that Kurylenko will renounce her status as a "movie kept girl of Bond" before she suffers a tragic, 007-worthy fate as her nude body is recovered from the center of a sinister series of Russian nesting dolls.
The typical formula of two pliant Bond girls per movie tends to serve the 007 franchise well, as in Casino Royale, where Daniel Craig's first at-bat was supported by striking work from Eva Green and that other one. For the new Quantum of Solace, though, things seem to have gone haywire — almost as though it were planned by some shadowy, nefarious league pulling the strings of Her Majesty's empire! First, Bond girl Gemma Arterton unnerved fans with the bizarre revelation that she was born with six fingers, and now female lead Olga Kurylenko is... well, we'll let the Communist Party give you the details: