Emily Brill: An AppreciationSince she came into the blogging world just a short time ago, Emily Brill's complete lack of awareness has been properly appreciated by fameball connoisseurs the world over. Is the future heiress to the Brill fortune now gone like Keyser Söze? Some are speculating that Emily terminated her blog because of an ultimatum by her parents after some less-than-bright comments about being lost in lower Manhattan and only seeing signs with foreign lettering on them. Wait, you're saying she doesn't have a translator with her at all times? Pray this doesn't mean an end to an era.As Stevie Nicks so meaningfully informed us in "Landslide", "time gets bolder/people get older/I'm getting older too." We just assumed that didn't apply to people with giant trust funds. If this really is the end of Essentially Emily, bring on Daniel Stern for some Wonder Years-style narration, and enjoy the greatest hits of the poor man's Mary Rambin:
  • Emily rocks out on her way to the Hamptons.
  • We can't forget her brazen refutation of the Page Six article about her. How dare they investigate her with her permission!
  • Emily charges Nick Denton is obssessed with getting to her dad. (No, he wasn't.)
  • Everyone wants to grope her: didn't you know?
  • Oh, wow, she really did give people tips on how to lose weight. I thought that was just a dream I had.
  • Then there was when she compared her dietary struggle to having cancer. I think we all remember where we were when she dropped that bon mot.
  • She wanted a pearl necklace, and the joke was lost on her. Emily! Why didn't we treasure every minute we had with your blog! Why must our tears flow into the unending pit of the Wayback Machine? Oh, God.
Emily Brill: An AppreciationAs Nick Denton once put it in a particularly reflective moment:
Finally, an individual's privacy or inherent celebrity can, in this highly mediated world, only be determined by something like Schroedinger's thought experiment in quantum mechanics. Schroedinger's cat is neither alive nor dead until observed—until that time, the cat is both alive and dead. Similarly, an Emily Brill may be a shy once-fat girl, or a shallow attention-seeking mogulette: only observation by blog can determine the truth.
Sniffle. Emily, what can we do to convince you to come back into our lives and do it all over again...just one more time? Let's beg her sometimes mean commenters to flatter her for awhile. Suggested compliment: "Your blog wasn't THAT embarrassing."