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Moammar Khadafy may be completely crazy. And he may be one of the world's worst dictators as far as Washington is concerned. But just because you're a vicious dictator and an international pariah doesn't mean you can't be stylish, too. (And, really: If everyone is going to despise you no matter what, you might as well feel good about yourself when you look in the mirror, right?) Fortunately, we're here to help. Since Khadafy is spending the week in New York—the fashion capital of the universe—it seemed like an opportune time to give the Libyan leader a few style pointers. At last night's reception to celebrate the opening of the Spider Silk exhibit at the American Museum of Natural History, reporter Douglas Marshall took celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch aside to get a few tips on how Khadafy could reinvent himself. And because Moammar has always been known to love the ladies—he's protected at all times by a contingent of attractive, female bodyguards, for example—we asked one of the most beautiful women around, actress Heather Graham, to weigh in as well. Some honest advice to Moammar is below.

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Phillip Bloch, Celebrity Stylist

Q: You've styled everyone. Can I get your opinion on one person you've never laid your hands on?

PB: Who's that?

Q: Moammar Khadafy!

PB: Oh, good Lord. He's a pig.

Q: And he's here in NYC right now.

PB: In a tent, no less.

Q: What's your very first reaction to these pictures?

PB: Hot mess.

Q: What style tips would you give him? Where does a guy like that even begin?

PB: First of all, he needs to go on a diet. And get a haircut. Well, actually, I kind of like the rocker haircut. He's a little Mickey Rourke-ish with those glasses and that hat.

Q: Maybe he could use something to loosen up his tight curls?

PB: Oh, yes. He needs some Bumble & Bumble Curl Diffuser. That's a good one. He's wearing color, so I give him credit for that. But do you have to put all that color together. It's a bit like bad Pucci prints mixed up there.

Q: Do you think any of these looks should be belted?

PB: Not with that waistline, dear. Unless he wants to emphasize his over-expanded waist to match his over-expanded ego. He looks like he's gained weight, actually. Or maybe he's bloated. He needs a good trainer.

Q: They could install an elliptical inside his tent, I guess.

PB: I would send some poisonous spiders into his tent, actually.

Q: That doesn't have anything to do with fashion!

PB: He's just uncivil. He's a pig, really.

Q: You're just not that into him.

PB: I'm not into him, no. But I've supported many Middle Eastern designers over the years, like Elie Saab and Georges Chakra. I'm big in Lebanon. I've used a lot of Lebanese designers. Libya? I don't know much about their designers, but clearly neither does Khadafy!

Q: Maybe we should get him to meet you.

PB: He could call me, sure. But I'd probably set him up for a fall.

Heather Graham with her boyfriend, director Yaniv Raz

Q: Have a look at some pictures of Moammar Khadafy! He's in town right now. You're ridiculously stylish and gorgeous. What advice would you give him?

HG: (to her boyfriend) Come here, baby. What do you think of Moammar Khadafy's style?

YR: Moammar Khadafy's style? Well, uh, it's definitely... It's progressive, that's for sure!

Q: Do you think he needs some help?

YR: He seems to have an African '80s sort of thing going on. But it doesn't seem to evolve very much, does it?

HG: That's very true.

YR: This one is sort of Michael Jackson-esque with the sleeve colored that way.

Q: Good point. It's got an Asian collar too.

YR: It's Asian fusion then? Or North African fusion?

Q: Heather, would you be photographed on the red carpet with Khadafy in any of these looks?

HG: Not if I had anything to do with it.

Q: Would you consider allowing Khadafy to pitch a tent on your property?

YR: With the property she has it would be very awkward.

Q: Oh?

YR: It's just hard to pitch a tent on a Manhattan rooftop.

Q: I don't doubt it!

Photos: Vanity Fair, Getty Images