Kanye/Gaga Tour Killed, Lauren Conrad Fesses Up

Kanye West and Lady Gaga's "Fame Kills" tour has been canceled. Was it because of Kanye's little incident at the VMAs? Because tickets weren't selling? No one's saying, although the name of the tour was pretty prophetic, wasn't it? [TMZ, NYDN]
• Kate Hudson isn't a huge hit with Yankee players' wives and girlfriends: "Kate acts like she and Alex [Rodriguez] are married, and no one gets it," said a source. "It strikes them as odd, and it seems suspicious." [MSNBC]
• Lauren Conrad has admitted she can't act. Really. "I think my acting is offensive!" she says. "I'm an awful actor, I'm not super comfortable with it." This it all very true, of course. But points for honesty! [People]
• In a new series of ads for her line of leggings, 6126, Lindsay Lohan can be seen modeling with a stripper pole. Naturally. [NYDN, Daily Mail]

• Russell Brand and Katy Perry are having a fling, according to sources. He apparently sent her a love poem, and begged for her to send one back. So, naturally, she took a picture of her boobs, scribbled "poem" across the bottom and sent it back to him. Then, he whisked her off to a getaway in Thailand. True love is nice, isn't it? [The Sun]
• James Franco is joining the cast of General Hospital... and it turns out he approached them! New low? [SoapNet]
• Kristen Stewart is over with the whole Twilight thing. "I feel so boring because Twilight is literally how every conversation I have these days begins," she tells Interview. "But then I think to myself, God damn it, shut the f*ck up." Buck up, Kristen. There are four books in the series (so far), and right now, you're only on film number two. [Interview]
Sex and the City spoiler! Liza Minnelli will supposedly perform Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" during a wedding scene, according to Us Weekly. This script is officially out of control. [MSNBC]
Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi is going to be a baby mama, but it's still unclear who the baby daddy is. [Us, Cityfile]
• Like many celebs, Britney Spears uses fake names when she travels. Some of her personal faves, according to the book, Britney: Inside the Dream: "Alotta Warmheart" and "Queen of the Fairy Dance." [P6]
• In other Britney news, she bought a parakeet. Could someone please call the ASPCA? Like now? Thanks. [People]
• Did Mary Louise Parker steal singer Charlie Mars from his journalist girlfriend? Some people think so. And you'd think she'd steer clear of this type of situation after the whole Hugh-Dancy-leaving-her-when-she-was-pregnant-for-Claire-Danes thing, wouldn't you? [P6]
Philip Seymour Hoffman is starring in Othello at NYU's Skirball Center, but apparently his celeb cachet isn't enough to make patrons stay after the intermission. [P6]
• TLC suspended filming of Kate Plus Eight after Jon Gosselin's lawyer sent a letter to the network saying film crews were no longer welcome in the family home. TLC calls Jon's behavior "erratic," but Jon claims the kids were never given work permits or compensated fairly. Then Jon went on Larry King Live and said he'd planned to quit before being fired anyway. The best part about this whole scenario is that the sign barring people from trespassing on the family property doesn't even spell Jon's name right. [Us, People, NYDN]
• Dennis Hopper has been released from the hospital. You can stop that prayer vigil now. [MSNBC]
• Michael Jackson's autopsy report found that he was actually pretty healthy before he died. His heart was reasonably strong, although he did have some arthritis and "chronically inflamed" lungs. And he did have tattooed brows and lips and his "face and neck were scarred by plastic surgery." But you knew that already, of course. [AP, E!]