After last night's Gossip Girl, you no doubt have a lot of questions. Is staging a guerrilla fashion show at a Philanthropic Ball enough to get you on Page Six? Should you seduce a 15 year old if you're a senior in high school? Is your overhead a lot cheaper if your daughter goes runaway and you lose her as a dependent? In our recap we answer what we can and leave the rest to the IRS.So many questions, so many revolting come-ons from Brooklyn-based hipsters... Should I go ahead and write that damning story about my friend's Dad? There's no time like the present for Dan Humphrey, whose budding career as the sexy Michael Wolff took a turn this week. Dan is tired of trailing in his sister Jenny's tiny footsteps, and he went forward with his story on Chuck Bass last night. You have to admire the way Jenny took her shot at the top by crashing the Philanthropic Ball with the fashion show to end all fashion shows (see video), although some of the credit has to go to her Lohan-style friend Agnes and the men who are in love with her. Now that Jenny's on the road, her insane father won't be able to block the licensing and sale of her sex tape. Meanwhile, her brother can truly learn much from his younger sister. If there's a story, Dan, you break it, and if there's statutory rape in the offing, report it to the authorities.
Is it a good idea to date a RISD hipster? In the role Justin Long of ten years ago was born to play, Serena's RISD squeeze "can't stop thinking about her." We can't stop thinking about the literary and artistic influences he'll bring to bear in his courtship of her. (Licorice ring!) The development of the sleazy hipster is spreading a dangerous archetype into places in middle America where it just shouldn't go. Will they cuddle and watch Basquiat together, or is the show planning on jumping directly to him painting her in the nude? I smell a TV Guide cover. Also, how will the RISD grad deal with the revelation that Serena's in her early forties? Is blackmail really not the best way to get into Yale? Blair's misadventures with slut-in-training Emma were a heartening look into her stringent moral standards, but catching Emma's mother cheating on her husband at the trendy 1Oak was another cell phone camera Deus ex machina. It all worked out though, resulting in Serena and Blair kicking back with the Yale course catalog and calling Princeton "a trade school." My Dinner With Andre's Wallace Shawn is a guest star next week as a romantic interest of Blair's mother. If any show can pick up the conversational brilliance of that movie's discourse on the meaning of getting older, it's Gossip Girl.