It's over! It's all over! Tomorrow the campaign will be done! No more caring about what crazy things John McCain and his bitchy friend said on the news, no more feeling bad for him despite yourself, no more checking 538 (sorry Nate Silver, you're obsolete now!), no more forwarded YouTube clips from your mom, or your coworker, or some lunatic internet person. Boy, if we were assholes, we'd write something about how this was "the YouTube election." But instead we will just post the YouTubes themselves, from 2004 through the never-ending primaries, through the finally ending general election. All your favorites are here! Come pal around with crying Hillary the Senator, stare deep into Mike Gravel's eyes, and don't look your opponent in the eyes, after the jump. Back in 2004, this guy named Barack Obama gave a really really good speech at the Democratic National Convention. Watch it again, if you haven't lately, because it's really good. Can you believe we're gonna elect this guy? Oh, but then he had to win the Democratic nomination, this year. In order to do that, he had to make Hillary Clinton cry. In the Republican side, John McCain faced crazy challenges from a bunch of losers and lowlifes. And Mike Huckabee, the formerly fat radio DJ Arkansas Governor who was endorsed by a real-life Internet Meme. Meanwhile, Mike Gravel ran for president too. Oh god we just remembered Mike Gravel. He was from Alaksa, who knew Alaska would even be a thing this year? 10 million people have watched this intelligence-insulting bullshit. Mean Joe Biden never had a chance at the nomination, but this was the best zinger of the campaign. This was the worst joke of the campaign. John McCain sings about nuclear war! Oh, Hillary Clinton was still around. After she cried, she got wasted. And then she couldn't stop laughing. And her husband got all racist for a sec. One of this election's big winners? Big stupid touchscreen computers. CNN's Giant iPhone, operated by John King, is hypnotic. Anderson Cooper's Magic Pie Chart was just stupid. Fred Armisen playing with the Magic Map is kinda funny! Click to view Oh, drunk, crying Hillary wants you to know she'll answer the phone, at 3 in the morning, in case you need to get sprung from jail or something. Say it with us now: GOD DAMN AMERICA! Here is another just really fantastic speech from Barry Obama. This one's about the GOD DAMN AMERICA guy and also the history of race relations. Flashback: Terrorist fist-jab! Then Jesse Jackson cut Obama's nuts off, on the tee-vee. Say hello to Sarah Palin, a lipsticked pitbull hockey sixpack maverick from small-town real America! She doesn't know what "community organizers" do but she is pretty sure they are fucking losers who should be shot. Peggy Noonan was not impressed. Neither was America, once they saw Palin talk extemporaneously to Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric. But everyone was in the tank. Look how mean they were to Tucker Bounds! Meanwhile, the old guy was apparently still the nominee, not that hockey lady. He had a debate with Barry and didn't look at him, once. Then the economy exploded and your money burned and John McCain said the economy was fine. Meanwhile, Palin rallies became insane racist nightmares. Instead of "kill him" and "terrorist" we'll just focus on the monkey sticker guy. Well, and "palling around with terrorists," too, why not. Then the election became an elaborate horrible farce, when Joe the Plumber showed up. Joe the Plumber won the debate, too. WHERE'S JOE? YOU'RE ALL JOE THE PLUMBER. Go to bed, old man. Now it is election day. Barack Obama cried because his grandma died and Cindy McCain cried because her husband is losing. The end.
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