Our Long National Nightmare Is Over As Our New National Hangover BeginsNatalie Portman did it! Her eleventh-hour phone-banking put Barack Obama's campaign over the top, eking out a nail-biting victory of 349 electoral votes to McCain's 173, and ushering in a tidal wave of jubilation we were thrilled to let sweep us away.House parties spilled out into the noisy streets and local bars—if our own destination was any indication, all of America was marking this seismic moment by getting down to Jermaine Stewart's one hit, blissfully wasted on a heady mixture of well vodka and hope. There was of course that one gigantic bummer hanging over the proceedings, and the party would occasionally pause to hiss at a TV monitor showing a Yorba Linda Ramada ballroom of inbreds cheering wildly over their successful attempts at snuffing out the happiness of thousands people they don't know, and hope never to meet. "Prop 8 = Religious Freedom," read their signs. Well, then, free at last, free at last, thank God almighty they are free at last, and marriage's sacred definition as something that can only be shared between a Michael Jackson and a Lisa Marie Presley has been secured, for the time being at least. Hurray! But let's not let the bastards get us down, shall we? Let's focus on what we do have: A new President! One who possesses a kind heart, a probing intellectual curiosity, a masterful command of the English language, and a general air of giving a shit! In other words, everything we haven't had for the past eight years. A new era has begun. Let's see what famous people think about it: · If the night belonged to anyone whose last name isn't Obama, it was Oprah Winfrey, weeping during Obama's victory speech like a proud Mother Earth: "I'm vibrating. [I want] to be fully present. I'm just trying to take it all in. I can't even talk about it. This has been the greatest experience of my lifetime. I haven't seen a sense of unity like this since 9/11. Now, we're all brought together in the name of hope." [Us] · George Clooney: "I congratulate President-elect Obama on his historic victory and now it's time to begin unifying the country so we can take on the extraordinary challenges that this generation faces." · P Diddy: "I felt like my vote was the vote that put him into office. It was down to one vote, and that was going to be my vote. And that may not be true, but that's how much power it felt like I had." [AP] · Star Jones is filled with pride! [ET Online] · Harvey Weinstein: "It's a great day for America." [NY Daily News] · Jessica Alba: "I was surprised that McCain brought race into his speech. I guess he was trying to bring people together." NY Daily News]