· We elected Barack Obama as our 44th President of the United States. Look back to his Hollywood beginnings and ahead to an Ari-friendly White House. · And as always, it was the celebrities who made the difference: Monica Lewinsky in LA. Natalie Portman in New York. Kirsten Dunst in North... Dakota? And Diddy in the headlines, natch. · With the help of skywriting and millions of Mormon dollars, the passage of Proposition 8 denied gay people the basic human right to be married. It goes without saying, but L.A. is pissed. · Sacha Baron Cohen wasn't helping matters any with his earnest protests of asher-shtupping, either. · Still, whatever solution exists, we're sure David Archuleta has it. · Obama's victory meant a party for Madonna fans, a concession from Elisabeth Hasslebeck, and a moving truck for Stephen Baldwin. · While Saturday Night Live's audience laughed with John McCain, Chris Rock's laughed at him. · Tina Fey will play Sarah Palin no more forever, but there's always South Park Sarah to remind us of what could have been. · Is killing a great series the answer to stopping bad TV? And what do we do if one show happens to be both? · Even more than she wants an Oscar, Kate Winslet wants you to apologize for that Photoshop slur you just made. · Robert Downey Jr. defended exiled Iron Man co-star Terrence Howard from a nosy press, and Jude Law defended Robert Downey Jr. from certain naughty-part doom. · Next Halloween, embattled Heidi Klum is just going out as a peapod.