How bad is the Great Magazine Die-Off? Thanks to the internet, it's the most terrifying media recession yet. Because for once the living shall envy the dead, if the fates of print-to-online-only publications are any guide. You'll recall most recently the example of Radar Online, turned to celebrity mush by AMI. A tipster also pointed us to the sad state of FHM,which went online-only in early 2007 and was sold to Bauer Publishing at the end of last year. Here's an excerpt from's awful, awful review of raunch-com Role Models:

Role Models feels like a dysfunctional family film. It's got a lot of that warmness, but there is also cursing and boobies. It's got a good moral in the end, that you would want to share with your kid, but might feel uncomfortable with the nudity, or not. It's a little bit like a dirtier Meet the Parents.

...By hearing the premise, you might have already guessed the movie's ending. Role Models falls into a lot of standard movie clichés. At the same time, it's still entertaining throughout, and easy to follow.

It is possible a more terrible movie review exists somewhere, but this one is in the unfortunate position of having been read by jealous ex-staff of the former magazine. Though lad-mag FHM was not known as a bastion of top-flight journalism by any means, editors know unredeemed, completely unpolished filler when they see it. Our disapproving source claims the review was the product of a former FHM office assistant, now drawing down a nice salary on the "editorial" side of FHMOnline.

Unemployed writers, take notice: The review carried no byline! It's hack work, but perhaps better than temping? Sigh.