The skittish stock market rose early this morning, but finished down 73 points, despite the best efforts of Neil "Ferrari" Kashkari, the Republican ski bum in charge of our government's Wall Street bailout package. Neel had a press conference this morning where he explained to everyone why the government is sinking $40 billion more into failed insurer AIG. Then he said "our capital markets are fragile." The market fell for the rest of the day. Dude, come on! How about a motivational phrase? Here's one we know you're familiar with:

I have dedicated my life to this football team
And I will do anything to help it win.
- Bernie Kosar

You know it baby! Bring back Rush, Neel! The salvation of the Dow Jones Industrial Average depends on it!

[Top pic by commenter ineffable.me]

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.