Hipster Civil War Breaks Out over Obama VictoryRemember the mysterious Park Sloper who goes by the name Blognigger? He quit blogging at Vice founder Gavin McInnes's website Streetcarnage today with a big fuck-you goodbye on the site itself declaring "OBAMA VICTORY RENDERS HIPSTER 'MOVEMENT' OBSOLETE—Neo-Cynicism Now Strictly For and By the Fags.'" It's very long, very ranty, and very hilarious. Before ol' Gavin—who proudly declared that he didn't bother voting—takes it down, we captured it for posterity. It's a surprisingly snide-yet-sincere post-election call to hope decrying the cynicism of so-called hipster young. Oh, and: "We must never fall into the common retard-trap of allowing ourselves to believe, for even a second, that there’s any deeper 'meaning,' or 'movement' behind our chosen music-and-t-shirt collective."Excerpted from Street Carnage, unless they took it down already: First, social scenes are they are applied to hepcats are analyzed:
As we grow older, our chosen scene begins to bring us value of a more abstract nature: During this phase, our scene is primarily useful in combating the metaphysical boredom inherent in the life of a 9-to-5 drone. Many more adults would succumb to boredom and sorrow related deaths (due, for example, to shotgun-face, openwrist, and the extended boomdrop neckstretch) if they were unable to count-down the days until they and their old nostalgia-droogs were joining up at Pete’s house to head to the next Screeching Weasel gig.

So, not only are “scenes” an American Tradition™ - they’re a goddamn survival technique!
Then, your worldview is refuted:
Just as we’d all laugh our asses off at a Hippie’s suggestion that they were somehow saving the planet by turning their heads into birds’ nests and listening to The Phish, equally laughable is the idea that cynicism, our scene’s version of a Hippie’s “peace n’ love,” is somehow making our society better.

If you’re like me and mostly don’t give a shit, and you wanna be a punk nihilist and sit around getting high and being an outsider - that’s cool. But let’s get it straight: WE’RE the assholes who don’t give a shit- Not Obama, for example, and not the people who optimistically worked to bring him to power.
Then, surprising Obama-related sincerity!
Guess what - Obama has already changed the world by bringing hope and healing to B-B-BILLIONS of people around the globe. Neo-Cynisism can’t fuck with that - it’s real.

Now prepare yourselves: This is an era in which you will find many people becoming inspired by government. You are going to see a lot of regular people asking what they can do for their country, applying to work for the Obama administration, and trying to make a difference in real life.

I myself won’t be participating, because I’m too fucking lazy, greedy, and scared. But I don’t harbor any illusion that my selfish path somehow makes me smarter than the people who are actually trying to help.
Man, Obama really brings out the audacity of hope in just about everyone, doesn't he?