Snooki Crushes Dreams at NYU Law

It's been a heartbreaking day at NYU Law. It seems a group of students tried to make arrangements to have Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi from MTV's Jersey Shore pay them a visit, but then the whole thing fell through at the last minute. After the jump: The tragic details and amusing memo that was circulated earlier today.

The campaign to bring Snooki to NYU Law began a couple of weeks ago, shortly after it was reported that America's most famous guidette was charging $2,000 to make personal appearances. At those prices, the students were confident they could make the numbers work and started negotiating with "Snooki's people."

Unfortunately, she raised her quote to $7,500 last week and then again to $10,000 just yesterday, and she's now beyond reach. All that was left to do was disseminate the depressing news:

Given these recent stratospheric fee increases, which I foresee continuing at least until we see the epic cast-wide Britney Spears-esque crash-and-burn that inevitably awaits our favorite part-time Seaside denizens, it would seem as though the opportunity to bring Snooki and her backflipping, poof-rocking, pickle-eating je ne sais quoi to NYU Law may have slipped through our fingers, short of a wealthy benefactor coming to the fore. We can always try to bring her in post-crash-and-burn, for a bargain basement price, but that might be more depressing than awesome.
I tell this all to you now not to ruin your first day back at classes, but because a number of people have asked me about the progress of this endeavor in classes and around the halls today, and I don't have the stomach to see hearts break and hopes fall in front of my eyes any longer in person. So let this e-mail put an end to it: Snooki is lost to us.

Jersey Shore at NYU Law? [Above the Law]