This is Conan O'Brien's last day at NBC, as you've probably heard. Unfortunately, the person who should be packing up his giant office today isn't: Jeff Zucker, NBC's ruinous president and CEO, who has pretty much destroyed everything he's touched over the past decade, from comedy (remember when Thursday night was "Must See TV"?) to drama (remember when ER and The West Wing were big hits?) to late-night (no explanation necessary). What happens to Zucker in the end is anybody's guess and ultimately up to his new bosses at Comcast, who gave him a new contract recently that will keep him in place through 2013. But given the events of the past couple of weeks—and the sense of panic that probably pervades Comcast HQ right now—it wouldn't be a bad idea for Zucker to polish up the ol' résumé. With that in mind—and because Zucker is a busy man and fully consumed with damage control right now—we took the liberty of getting things started. Why not, right? He's going to need some help, though. After all, he's spent his entire career at NBC (he joined the company as a lowly researcher way back in '86), so it's unlikely he's given his résumé any thought in two decades. But we're here to help. Below, Jeff's starter-kit résumé—along with a few instructions and suggestions—so he can get to work as soon as this weekend.
For Jeff Zucker:
Don't delay! Download your resume right now and get started: