Getting a ticket to the Vanity Fair Oscar party is pretty close to impossible. You either have to be really famous, really beautiful, or really rich (and if you fall into the latter category, you'll be expected to return the favor by giving Graydon Carter unfettered access to your jet, or enough capital to open a new restaurant). But that's changed. Now anyone can attend!
You just have to win this auction, which benefits victims of the earthquake in Haiti. And you'll have to be willing to submit to a "background check"—and entrust Graydon with your date of birth and social security number—so he can be sure that you don't have a history of getting really drunk at parties and assaulting fellow guests. As for what two tickets to the VF Oscar party are worth, the prize has a "fair market value" of $20,000, which is how much you'll be able to deduct on your taxes. (Not that you'd be doing it for a tax deduction. It's all about Haiti, obviously.)
If that's out of your budget, perhaps you'd be interesting in taking over Rupert Murdoch's screening room in the News Corp. building? You'll get to pick any movie from "the expansive 20th Century Fox/Fox Searchlight collection"—and you'll be provided with "delectable wine and hors d'oeuvres" during the screening—and you can invite "23 of your closest pals" to join you. It's only $1,600. But hurry! The auction ends in less than an hour.