The BBC on Thursday unveiled quite the scoop in a world-exclusive interview: Angelina Jolie is going to quit acting! Like, soonish. Sort of. Perhaps a few years from now. Or longer. Like decades, if her stream-of-conscious threat to "fade away" is any indication: Maybe a Kung Fu Panda installment here, a Lara Croft sequel there, and gratuitous Oscar bait every five years or so, carefully timed to coincide with the next collection of candid mealtime snapshots issued by Brad Pitt.

It's a far more graceful exit strategy than that of her contemporary Joaquin Phoenix, if only for its intelligibility and lack of knuckle-writing, but all the more jarring for her anticipation of her grandmother years. We'd heard Maddox is precocious and everything, but come on. That's genuinely uncool.

• Jolie 'could give up acting for babies' [BBC via People]

Contact information for this author is not available.