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People occasionally us bizarre messages that they think they're sending to someone we've profiled on the site. Why do they do that? We really don't know. But they do! Earlier, we shared a few messages we've received recently. Another bunch is below.

TV chef Anthony Bourdain probably shouldn't tell random people he meets on vacation that he's going to go "see a show" with them. They might take him seriously!

If you want to make a new friend in New York, you may have better luck starting small and working your way up.

Do you think the Christie's head of contemporary art is interested in an artist "whose reputation is well established in Florida" and does portraits of Michael Jackson? We're guessing he probably isn't. (But if you're reading this, Brett, and you are, let us know and we'll totally introduce you.)

This woman from Germany says Meryl Streep's father "watched her" (babysat?) when she was a kid. And she thinks Meryl's been looking for her. Alrighty then.

Looking for construction work? Skip the foreman and go right to the top!

We have no idea what's going on here, obviously. It's in Italian. But if you bump into the owner of Da Silvano, you can ask him to decode it.

Someone has something hot for Janklow, the hotshot book agent who reps Anderson Cooper and Simon Cowell, among others. And it doesn't involve plain old sex scandal. It's "sex sex scandals," so there are a bunch of them. And they're extra sexy, presumably.

If you can't write a three-sentence message without making about 100 spelling mistakes, you probably shouldn't be hunting for a literary agent.

Fans of Lou Dobbs are dangerous idiots. You probably already knew that.

Previously: Misdirected Mail, Volume I