The first real trailer for J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot emerged in theaters last Friday, spilling a dark, sprawling shadow over the Bond film that followed it and confirming our suspicions that about .003% of its rumored $200 million budget went to anything resembling a screenplay. Like we care: Our audience tuned out every platitude and ultimatum that followed the introduction of young troublemaker James Tiberius Kirk, lapsing into an effects coma from which we're only beginning to emerge this morning. Paramount will have an official HD trailer online later today, but in the meantime, bask in the bootlegged bombast available now: Monsters! Sex! Simon Pegg! And a pissed-off Spock who puts those uncanny Katie Holmes comparisons to rest in seconds flat, thank God. [YouTube ]