The Eliot Spitzer Senate TheoryEliot Spitzer, you fool. You could have been a contender! When Spitzer resigned as governor of New York in March, rather than standing and fighting like the stubborn-to-the-point-of-idiocy man that he is, he was ceding his political future to the vagaries of luck. And his luck is not good, obviously, or he would still be sneaking into hotel rooms with Ashley Alexandra Dupre. But what if he had hung on, boldly stood up for his imaginary right to patronize hookers, and stayed in office? He'd be headed to the US Senate in January. Think about it: if Spitzer had decided not to resign (as we advised at the time), he'd now be a scandal-ridden and likely ineffective governor. He would also, however, have the luck to be a high officeholder in New York now that Obama has been elected. Obama is very likely to name Hillary Clinton to a cabinet position. That will mean New York needs its governor to name a new Senator to fill her spot. If Spitzer were still the governor, who better to name than himself? The state Democrats would surely support it, just to be able to clear him the hell out so the party could move on to a slightly more scandal-free future. And nobody in Washington would really mind, because they all fuck whores there, at least metaphorically. So Spitzer could have put himself in Hillary's seat and installed David Paterson as governor, just as he is now. Spitzer's particular skill set—cracking down on corporate profligacy—is looking pretty good right now. Once the Post got off his ass about the scandal, he'd probably be able to do some good. But he resigned, so none of this will happen. It would be kind of nifty if Paterson appointed him to the seat now, as some have suggested. (It would be great for Paterson, who would have neatly gone from being a little-known Lieutenant Governor to having Spitzer owe him a huge favor). But it won't happen, because in America you can screw taxpayers, but not hookers. Live and learn. Spitzer will be back on the scene in two years either way. [pic via LAT]