Guy Ritchie Buys Peace With Madonna

Barristers in England are calling Guy Ritchie's freshly-minted breakup settlement with superstar wife Madonna a "model divorce." But cynics could just as easily call it a model victory for aggressive flackery: It was Madonna, according to some gossipy press reports, who initiated and most viciously perpetuated the post-split war of words with her husband; witness her public declaration her husband was "emotionally retarded." If Madonna's objective was to bully Ritchie into a fast divorce — and thus into relinquishing any claim on the singer's $450 million fortune, ten times his hoard — it worked. Ritchie is said accepting not a penny of Madonna's cash, telling the Mirror, "Thank God" it's all over. Madonna promptly got her drink on, said Page Six:

Madonna — looking like she was celebrating her bargain-basement divorce from Guy Ritchie — had drinks at the Greenwich Hotel with her first ex-husband, Sean Penn, Wednesday night after attending a Gucci event with mega-manager Guy Oseary.

The mouthy American thinks she won because she walked away with all the money; the more reserved Brit thinks he won because he walked away with all the class. So cliché. And also true, at least for the moment, when both sound happy and fortunate, for the first time in a while.