I want my life to end. I am tired of f@#$ing up everything. I am tired of people always telling me that they do not like me. I am tired of trying to be decent. I hope that someone finds this post and I hope that my parents know that I f@#$ed up not them. It is my fault I screwed up my own life. The hate that rages within me, rages not for those I love so dearly or those who have crossed my path. This hate rages full force towards me and only me. I have long forgiven those who've hurt me, but I have not and cannot come to terms to forgive myself for the things I have done to myself, and the things I've done to hurt those in my life.
On Wednesday, a 19-year-old young man in Florida killed himself live on the Internet, broadcasting the event by connecting a webcam in his bedroom to Justin.tv, a lifecasting site. Viewers who tuned in and egged Abraham Biggs on, presuming it was a prank, were shocked to see police arrive on the scene a few hours after Biggs stopped moving. What drives a teenager to swallow a bottle of pills on camera? "It's often rage against a loved one, turned inward," one white-smocked expert told me. Biggs's final post suggests rage against several loved ones, turned against himself in an attempt to forgive everyone. Why am I posting this? Because the kid was a good writer. He deserves the pageviews. Look how clearly and concisely he spelled out his worldview in a few sentences: