STwilight made a bamillion dollars this weekend! $70.6 million, to be exact. And while we tried to explain the whole phenomenon last week, the figures and demographics for this teen-falls-in-love-with-vampire horromance tell us all we need to know. Though the whole craze is mostly attributed to teens, a large swath of the film's audience was depressingly over 25, and the younger folks that did show up to ogle the specatcle found the whole thing, well, pretty silly. The Hollywood Reporter tells us what we've sort of already heard: that kids were laughing—laughing! at these precious words: "and so the lion fell in love with the lamb"! that is beautiful Britishy foggy dells and swoopy moors poetry! Lord Byron Shelley Austen! my crotch is sobbing!—while the film flickered on the screen. So leave it to Variety's reported 45% over-25 audience to be the serious ones. They probably sat there all chaste and serious and adulty, whispering small benedictions to remind themselves that it's a good thing to have said "no" to Barry and that someone else will propose—he smelled like onions!—and that the living situation is just temporary and it's not that weird to have a litter box in your bedroom. Then the kids laughed and they got angry and fist shaky that, though it had looked touch-and-go there for a second, the irony which had plagued their lives for so many years was, in fact, not dead at all.
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