We'll admit that when Joaquin Phoenix first announced (in an incoherent mumble) that he would be quitting acting, we weren't quite sure whether it was all just an elaborate stunt. Then, we remembered the tale of Greenbo, Phoenix's brain-eating frog, and thought it was simply par for the course with the erratic actor. Still, since the announcement, Phoenix's weird behavior has felt increasingly staged for the cameras — and, in fact, he has his own cameras following him around, "recording his transition from film to music." The final straw came when we found an incriminating set of pictures from Phoenix's first performance, along with this explanation:

Joaquin Phoenix showed up at Dam-Funk's Culver City hot spot Funkmosphere on Monday night to debut his rap career, along with your boy Casey Affleck who was filming the chaos.

Dam-Funk's Funkmosphere at Carbon was titled L.A.s "Best Boogie Funk" recently by LA Weekly.

"Rap career"? Uh, sure. And how convenient that Casey Affleck would just happen to be present again, after witnessing Phoenix's red carpet breakdown. Check out his knowing smile while taping this mockumentary:

Joaquin Phoenix, j'accuse! Sure, films like Ladder 49 and The Village were egregious. But, faking the funk (and faking out the Funkmosphere)? This, we simply cannot support.