Tall Clown Will Host TV News Anachronism

Extremely tall man David Gregory will be your next host of Meet the Press. He's still famous mostly for dancing and for arguing with Bush press secretaries, which proves that he's a serious journalist, and it also served the press well to look like it was totally standing up to Bush just as it served the administration well to look like innocent victims of the liberal media. That is how the world works. Who knows how he'll perform on that show, because frankly the format itself is outdated and useless. The late Tim Russert was no prize either, friends. But Gregory is just... kind of annoying.

He's full of himself—you have to be to pull those Sam Donaldson stunts with Ari Fleischer—but has never really demonstrated a great intellect. He's never proved himself as an interviewer, which leads us to believe he'll just pull the "the research team dug up a quote from you that slightly contradicts some other thing you said" card way too often. But he's tall!

His show was boring, but Gregory is still more famous and network tv-ready than Chuck Todd, the actually astute political analyst who became a minor MSNBC star during the election. It's broadcast chops, not journalistic ability or smarts, that actually qualify one for Meet the Press.

Also he does impressions. He's famous for his shitty impressions. Everyone in Washington with a reputation for being "funny," with the exception of Barney Frank, is a complete tool.

Here is a clip of David Gregory drunk on Imus (another sign of tooldom: doing Imus).