Counterintuitive Horror Film Wants You to Root For Survival of Reality-Star Cast

We're not sure if this amounts to its own chapter in the End of Ideas canon or is actually a visionary effort deserving a new appellation altogether, but one thing appears to be certain: The Z-list thriller-in-the-making Reality Horror Night will not be for the faint of heart.

A New York producer named Sean Pomper issued a press release today announcing the film, a meta-slasher romp starring castoffs from Survivor, Rock of Love, The Mole, The Biggest Loser, I Want to Work for Diddy, even the Howard Stern offering Wack Pack at the Christys' Farm (!!!) — a veritable dollar-store ensemble of talent that will gather on Long Island to "ponder the question... 'Would you kill for $1,000,000?'":

[The cast is] invited to participate in a new TV Show where the prize is $1,000,000. Before the first contestant is voted off, a "freakish accident" happens, and they meet their demise. When the second and third guest "bite the dust" our contestants discover that they are not only playing for $1,000,000 but playing for their lives. [...]

"The Reality Stars are led to believe that they are competing for a prize of one million dollars, and before they realize a scam took place, the game costs them their lives," [Pomper said.] "This is a first-time acting opportunity for many of America's Top Reality Stars."

Pomper adds that shooting begins next week, with more reality-based features to come after Reality Horror Show finds its niche in the 900-section of your cable provider's channel guide. But even that exposure would be some kind of extraordinary cultural milestone we might not mind in the end. As opposed to, say, like, Zoolander 2. Godspeed, Sean Pomper!