S

Presidential Theater: Earlier this week, world's laziest presidential candidate Fred Thompson awoke from his midday nap (11am to 5pm) to start plotting out his next move. "Get me that job back as that mentor guy with five lines on Law & Order," he drawled to his agent. "What? Sam Waterston is doing that now? Too young! What about SVU? Maybe I could romance Mariska Harg..." He then fell back asleep, conserving his energy as the agent patiently pre-cut Thompson's dinner steak while booking him his first role since the presidential campaign: NYPD's chief of detectives on Life on Mars. Haha, remember when everyone was scared of this dude? [EW]