• First Britney Spears' guests whispered behind her back about how she looked "vacant" and "out of it" at her big birthday party. Then the singer's ex Kevin Federline told People that Spears' craziness had him "concerned with my children," whose well-being he felt compelled to fight for via custody battle when Spears "went behind my back" and filed for divorce, leaving him "completely blindsided." Finally, her first husband was thrown in jail.
• But at least hunky former MSNBC anchor and raiser-of-journalistic-ethics-questions Dan Abrams came to Spears' party. And she might have talked to party guest Heidi Klum about a Project Runway gig.

• They're not even trying to hide things anymore: Madonna applied for a visa for her and A-Rod to take a fancy sexytime tour around sexy Brazil, sexily. Wonder what they'll do down there. [Sun]
• Kirsten Dunst is totally getting it on with one of the filmmakers on her big "why don't people vote" documentary. And here we thought she actually cared about this stuff. SUCH BETRAYAL.
• Oh, poor Katie Holmes: Prepare for a "relaxing... romantic" getaway with husband Tom Cruise, who apparently can't stop planning awful surprise kidnappings.
• Bruce Willis and Demi Moore are both bringing their 30-year-old significant others to the joint family Christmas. A holiday for all ages! [Liz Smith]
• Strung out singer Amy Winehouse had a "farewell bonk" with her husband on his final night of freedom before going to jail. And the Sun insisted on telling everyone about it. [Sun]

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