No catastrophic cultural implosion is complete without a Doomsday Baby, and we think we might have gotten ours when pregnanter-than-pregnant Biggest Loser host Alison Sweeney went into labor during today's taping of Ellen. Even Defamer's office of Fact-Checking and Devil's Advocacy seems to stand by the veracity of the accompanying video, which features Ellen coming out of a break to greet the contorting, hyperventilating Sweeney with every expectant mother's favorite question, "Are you kidding?" To which Sweeney replies in the negative with all her searing underworld might. Uncanny!

Kudos to quick-thinking Ellen, who hops over her writhing guest to launch the next segment, and even heartier congrats to Sweeney, who we hope made it safely to a nearby delivery room in short order. We'll get our "It's an Apocalypse!" cigars at the ready as the story develops. [Ellen]

UPDATE: We're shocked and saddened to learn that Alison Sweeney did not, in fact, go into labor during today's Ellen episode, according to a denial from a Warner Bros. staffer. Fair enough — we wouldn't want the Doomsday Baby on our hands, either.