Dec 5, 2008 12:52 AM
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Tue Feb 9
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The crowd in the top left picture there was gathered tonight in honor of future White House press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "[His] cock may be sore from the hours of blow jobs here but he retains his good humor," Time's Ana Marie Cox wrote from the frenzied mob. That's only half a joke: Gibbs may not be a hottie in the conventional sense (except in a dogfight), but if you're a journalist soon to cover the president-elect — and who isn't, on some level? — you better start the kissing up as soon as possible (preferably three years ago). Luckily for the Obama supplicants, this administration is considerably younger and hotter than the last, and even tops the Clinton administration, with its charming young George Stephanopoulos, the It Boy of his administration.
There are, of course, other coveted White House liaisons beyond Gibbs. The top picks:
Jon Favreau, 27, top speechwriter : Not to be confused with the actor from Swingers. How did he get Rob Lowe's West Wing job at such a young age? Worked for the John Kerry campaign right out of college and met Obama backstage at the convention. He couldn't get dates during the campaign, due both to the rigors of the trail and skeptical girls: "There’s been a few times when people have said, ‘I don’t believe you, that you’re Barack Obama’s speechwriter.' To which I reply, ‘If I really wanted to hit on you, don’t you think I’d make up something more outlandish?’ ”
Cox: "No matter what happens in the Obama transition, one thing is for sure: Jon Favreau will still get laid as often as he wants."
Favreau isn't going to be able to do much for you immediately, like write you into a speech or whatever, so throw yourself at him if you're young and can afford to make a long-term investment in the future. Or, you know, just for kicks.
Timothy Geithner, 47, Treasury Secretary : Is anything sexier than moving from Henry Kissinger's consulting firm to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York? Enough said, really, but then there's this review: "Mr Geithner looks a lot younger than his 47 years." That' s positively flirty by Economist standards! And you-all have already demanded him topless in a fundraising calendar.
Now you know who you have to blow to get a government bailout around here! Although he's been married for more than 20 years, so you probably won't get past flirting.
UPDATE: He's kind of a dick who hates the poors. Oh, sorry, we already said he worked for Kissinger, didn't we?
Rahm Emanuel, 49, chief of staff: Pretty sexy, for a gimp! Ha ha just kidding, please don't bludgeon us to death or stab our families, Rahmbo!
He's "all kinds of hot," a "total babe" and, oh ya, a former ballet dancer, and triathlete so let your imagination run wild. But he's married, too, so prepare for disappointment. Although there are probably plenty of OTHER things the second-most-powerful man in the world could do that would make you happy (like having your enemies audited).
We're probably forgetting, like, half the cabinet, so post your nominations in the comments or send them by email. Especially if you know some Obama hotties of the female persuasion. Diversity is important!
Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.
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