· You've got to know that any time Seth MacFarlane is named the smartest man in TV, Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin get a reality show, the seventh walrus saxes, and that many heads roll at studios and media around the country, then Pop Culture Doomsday is upon us.
· Elisabeth Hasselbeck would like to apologize for her comments regarding Deepak Chopra; some of her best friends are in fact incense-burning self-help mystics from India.
· The Dark Knight destroyed X-Files' chances at the box office. Its work here is done.
· Doubt warmed up for awards season with its trailblazing "Fuck Off and Die" press tour, featuring a surly Philip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep. It could use some tinkering.
· If we could ask only one of our questions remaining for Britney Spears after viewing For the Record, we'd go with: "Holy pole-dancing Christ, your sister did WHAT???"
· It was close, but Keri Russell defeated Helen Mirren in this week's Battle of the Water-Frolic All-Stars.
· So The Reader is actually pretty good! Not nudity-award good or Porky's good, but just, you know... regular old good.
· Knight Rider may be but a memory, but don't worry: NBC will find new ways to be unwatchable.
· The long-awaited, star-studded anti-Prop 8 musical was great and everything, but we think it could benefited from just one more showstopping performer.
· Real Housewife NeNe may have some housing issues to explain, but at least she doesn't have pitchiness in her left saline implant.
· Rachel Getting Married is looking good for awards season; Frost/Nixon and Ricky Gervais, eh, not so much.
· That welt on our head? Oh, that's nothing — just where the new season of Lost went clubbing us with one marketing element after another.
· Quick! Someone! Anyone! Save Archie!