Childrens' Dictionary Revision Means End of Great BritainS

Bored conservatives are up in arms over the new revision of the Oxford University Press' Junior Dictionary! The sun has finally set on the British Empire, now that "empire" is no longer listed in the Oxford University Press Junior Dictionary. Also cut: "aisle", "bishop", "chapel", and "monarch." You'll be disgusted to learn what words replaced those venerable old favorites.

Try "blog" and "broadband" and "celebrity." "Dozens of words related to the countryside have also been culled," the Telegraph reports.

"We have a certain Christian narrative which has given meaning to us over the last 2,000 years. To say it is all relative and replaceable is questionable," said Professor Alan Smithers, the director of the centre for education and employment at Buckingham University. "The word selections are a very interesting reflection of the way childhood is going, moving away from our spiritual background and the natural world and towards the world that information technology creates for us."

An analysis of the word choices made by the dictionary lexicographers has revealed that entries from "abbey" to "willow" have been axed. Instead, words such as "MP3 player", "voicemail" and "attachment" have taken their place.

For the best minds in conservatism today crowing about how THIS IS HOW NAZI GERMANY STARTED, please see Roger Kimball and noted lunatic Vox Day.