Britney's Mom Finally Admits That Meltdown Was All Her Fault

There's something about that wily British press that can extract a flat-out mea culpa from interview subjects where hundreds of American journalists have tried and failed. Frost did it with Nixon, and now the Daily Mail does it with Lynne Spears, mother of Britney. No doubt, a ragtag group of journalists and producers got together for months poring over their strategy, and now, finally, they have given Lynne the cross-examination she never had, producing the apology an entire country had been clamoring for:

There was a point, admits Lynne Spears, mother of Britney, when she toyed with the idea of calling her autobiography It's All My Fault. 'I can laugh about it now, but did I feel that way at the time? Yes, I did and, if I'm being totally honest, I still do,' she says. [...]

'When her life was such a success, what did she need me for? And when things took a turn for the worse, I was out, because other people - dancers, managers - were closer to her, and with her day and night. Being a mother, you can't help but have regrets about what you did and didn't do for your kids, and I'm no different,' admits Lynne. [...]

At the time, friends of the star were worried that she might try to kill herself - a fear shared by Lynne. 'Yes, I did worry that that might happen,' she confesses. 'I couldn't see Britney, and you worry more when you're looking at things from a distance.'

Sadly, questions about Jamie Lynn's pregnant lipo were mired when Lynne Spears went into long, oddly digressive anecdotes about Vietnam and Kissinger. Still, at least our nation can finally begin to heal, our long nightmare finally given a flaccid-cheeked, sputtering scapegoat crying, "I'm saying, it's NOT illegal when a stage mom does it!"