It's scary to think that in a few months we will be deciding whether to recommend Life on Mars or primetime Leno. The decision there seems obvious, but we weep for the talent bookers, researchers and segment producers at the other talk shows who have to keep track of what was said on a new celebutainment program. Is it time to lower segment standards in order to prevent future incidents of anecdote overlap? We say: Yes. Follow Craig Ferguson's lead and talk about whatever you want for seven minutes.
Shatner's Raw Nerve [10 PM, Biography Channel] - Jenna Jameson, Jimmy Kimmel. Somehow, we don't think Captain Kirk is worried about Leno barging in during his slot. USA Today describes Shatner's interviewing style as "part Charlie Rose, part James Lipton and part Dr. Phil." That's good company and an intriguing group-sex scenario. We call middles!
House [8 PM, Fox] - The episode is titled "Joy to the World" but we doubt that helping a bullied girl who collapses during her school's Christmas program puts the medical professionals at Princeton-Plainsboro in a holiday mood. Getting in the yuletide spirit, however, are Foreman (Omar Epps) and Thirteen (Olivia Wilde), who bond over Huntington's disease drug trials. We know a couple who met while studying genetic neurological disorders and they are still in love to this day.
Leverage [10 PM, TNT] - This new series premiered last Sunday (we still have that simmering on the DVR) but tonight's new episode marks its regular time slot. Oscar-winner Timothy Hutton stars as a "high-tech Robin Hood" who employs his crew of merry hackers to investigate a military contractor who is hiding the truth about a friendly fire incident in Iraq in tonight's episode. We're usually rooting for the criminals anyway, so this could be a winner if it avoids too much plot- and techno-talk. No one's accomplished that yet.
The Ultimate Christmas Present [8 PM, Disney Channel] - Christmas is threatened when two Los Angeles teenagers (Hallee Hirsh, Brenda Song) discover Santa's weather machine and try to create a snow day — with disastrous results. The only shining star in this 2000 dud is the cherubic Spencer Breslin. We've been fans of Spencer's through thick and thinning hair. And when the Torah gets confusing, we even follow his dietary guidelines.
A Double Shot at Love [10 PM, MTV] - In the premiere of the latest bi-sploitation reality show, 24 male and female contestants move into a sick mansion and begin fighting for the attention of Rikki and Vikki, the identical, bisexual twin sisters that replaced Tila Tequila. Two contestants will win, but we will all lose.