Our New Factchecker: James Frey

So far, intern James Frey has brought us doughnuts (some with sprinkles!), fetched coffee and is now out on a beer run. But he completed his first assigned task: a factchecking report on this morning's Gawker posts. While we applaud our intern's effort, James Frey is surprisingly not the most reliable factchecker.

Gabriel –

Very excited about my fact-checking task. As I'm sure you know, I am very well-known for writing perfectly factually accurate stories about my life. I will apply the same principles to this task as I did to those pieces of work. A small guide is listed below.

If you need any more coffee, or maybe a dinner reservation, or a dry-cleaning dropoff, let me know. I'm here for you.

James

Check names – spelling
Check Original item
Numbers and figures
Check with sources if possible.
Dig up more info if possible.
MAKE SURE IT'S TRUE!!!!

FACTCHECKING FOR THE BOSS

Gossip Roundup:

Someone in Toronto has Tom Cruise's BlackBerry. The Church of Scientology will disavow any knowledge of the actions needed to get it back in the event an agent is caught or killed.

Some question as to whether Cruise lost a blackberry or a crackberry. Accurate enough.

Vegetarian animal-rights-campaign Paul McCartney is too much of a hippie pansy to kill off the rampaging army of wild boars breeding on his British estate. Neighbors worry the delicious animals "could kill someone."

Accurate as written. My sources say someone has already been killed and McCartney covered it up.

If CNN is so fat and flush, why did it "part ways" with the guy in charge of hiring people? Please tell us it's because the guy wasn't hiring people fast enough. Because CNN is the last best hope.

Perfect.

Anna Wintour went to the opera with "Shelby Bryant" or Shelby Bryan? Solve the riddle, Page Six!

Excellent catch. It is indeed Shelby Bryan. Grade-A journalism.

Cipriani: Our menu is so controversial it sent the owner into exile. In Uruguay!

This is wrong. I am profoundly disappointed. Giuseppe Cipriani is currently in London. He has plans to travel to Uruguay, but he is not there at the current time. Exile is not mentioned. I am shocked at this lapse. I would never commt an error like this one.

Cameron Diaz "totally scoped... out" Keri Russell's carpenter husband at an Oscar party. And Keri Russell so did not feel threatened.

According to Keri Russell, this is accurate. Representatives of Cameron Diaz refused to comment. We all know, though, that memory is a tricky thing.

Blind Item Roundup:

All blind items are accurate.

AMI Moving Towards Bankruptcy?

I will believe this when it runs in the Enquirer. Until that time, it is pure speculation.

Meet Today's Intern: James Frey!

This is accurate. Excellent work, Shelia. Though you neglected to include the part about me having to delay the internship date because I was in jail.

Jay Leno's Sad Variety Show: "Welcome to the future"

Sadly, this is accurate. One less watchable option at 10:00 PM.

Obama Killed Blago!

Man, that Obama guy, he sure is popular. This is true. Everything about Obama is true, unless it is written by a Republican, in which it s categorically false.

"Look, I Can Call My Hair."

Spoke to Chace Crawford's representatives and they confirmed that he can indeed call his hair.

Can Blago Still Appoint Himself Senator? (Yes.)

Yes, he can still appoint himself Senator, and retains the right to veto any bills limiting his power. This a real shitshow. It's kind of awesome. All it needs is Oprah to make it truly epic (some say she might be appointed).

Daily Show on Death of Print

Accurate. Jon Stewart really likes to make fun of troubled newspapers.

Blago Drama Gives Newspapers Fleeting Feeling Of Importance

Accurate. A last gasp of relevance before the screaming hordes of bloggers wipe them away.

Judith Regan Was a Very Expensive Mistake

I called Jonathan Burnham, the publisher of Harper Collins, and he had no comment. I also sent Judith Regan a message via facebook and she did not reply to me.

So, Who Called Out Gay Today?

Today is indeed A Day Without Gay Day. The poll results appear to be accurate.

Media Matters Freudian Email Slip Outrage

See earlier note above. Republicans continue to spread misinformation and lies about President-Elect Obama.