Forgive us. Forgive us Leia, forgive us Jabba, forgive us The Force—but this was the first thing that occurred to us watching Carrie Fisher on the Today Show this morning.

She was there to plug her latest "I took lots of drugs and alcohol and married a gay dude" memoir, Enter Drinking. (Wait, that's not it. Up, No Olives? It'll come to us eventually.) Seriously—how did this seismic, evolutionary species reassignment come to pass, and do the universe's laws of equilibrium require that the slug-like crime lord now be cavorting by some Tatooinian resort pool in a bikini?

After the jump, Fisher talks about taking acid with Cary Grant or something.