On the Colbert Report tonight, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps confirmed the NIGHTMARE scenario Anderson Cooper only hinted at: He's letting his body go, and soon will be the trashiest Greatest Athlete Ever... ever.

When Cooper interviewed Phelps for 60 Minutes, the swimmer was eating Eggs Norfolk and a quesadilla with sour cream, talking about his record-high weight and 8,000-10,000 calorie diet, and telling Cooper he'd only been in the pool four times since the Olympics.

Fine, the guy is entitled to relax. He worked out an extra day per week compared to his Olympic competitors! Even Christmas!


But he's also dating that cocktail waitress, endorsing lowbrow products and getting seen on casino benders. It's all adding up to an un-athletic, tool-ish image that can't be good for Phelps' marketability. Plus, he's the marquee draw for the World Swimming Championships, televised for the first time next year, and each through at least 2011.

Does Phelps really want to tarnish the dignity of dudes in speedos stroking their way across a wading pool, or risk getting only $50 million in endorsements instead of $100 million? ...OK, maybe it's not such a big deal after all. Another chicken fried steak for my man Michael! Extra gravy!!