Now You're Just Trying to Piss Us Off

Rich teens are turning into Dickensian paupers, announces the New York Times in what we truly hope is the absolute apotheosis of the the-rich-acting-poor story trend.

Earlier today: ascetic ashrams for the financially stressed. And now this. The trend can't get any lower or stretchier, can it?

Jodi Hamilton began her senior year of high school in Woodcliff Lake, N.J., this fall on the usual prosperous footing. Her parents were providing a weekly allowance of $100 and paying for private Pilates classes, as well as a physics tutor who reported once a week to their 4,000-square-foot home.


But in October, Jodi’s mother lost her lucrative job managing a huge dental practice in the Bronx, landing in one closer to home that requires more hours for less money. Pilates was dropped, along with takeout sushi dinners, and Jodi’s allowance, which covers lunch during the week, slipped to $60. Instead of having a tutor, Jodi has become a tutor, earning $150 a week through that and baby-sitting.

In their defense, though, it's a shitty time to get even a minimum-wage job: "...with employment of 16- to 19-year-olds at its lowest level in 61 years, as out-of-work adults compete for low-paying positions." But according to the article, they're mostly applying to fun clothing stores at the mall instead of the real shitwork like changin' oil and servin' food.

You know what? I think everyone should have the experience I had, in which, while working at Burger King, someone decided to take a shit in the urinal. Guess who was tasked with its removal? For rich teens, we need more of those "teachable moments."