Shoe Attack Befuddles Our Dimwit President

Finally, hero president George W. Bush is speaking out on the terrorist shoe assault that shook the world to its very core. He doesn't want the attacker's violent jailers to "overreact." Our beatific leader!:

CNN's Candy Crowley wisely tries to coax some emotion out of Bush by posing as a staunch, outraged patriot:

CROWLEY: Was there ever a part of you that, in reflection, went, wait a second, we have poured billions of dollars, not to mention U.S. blood and treasure into this country, how dare this guy, even if he is a single guy?

BUSH: No, I — look, first of all, I didn't much time to reflect on anything. I was ducking and dodging. And I — first of all, it has got to be one of the most weird moments of my presidency. Here I am getting ready to answer questions from a free press in a democratic Iraq , and a guy stands up and throws a shoe.
And it was bizarre. And it was an interesting way for a person to express himself. I was asked about it immediately after the incident and I said, here's a person that obviously was longing for notoriety and he achieved it. But I don’t feel this is – I’m not angry with the system, I believe that a free society is emerging and a free society is necessary for our own security and piece [sic].

He was ducking, dodging, weaving, bobbing—next thing you know some guy throws a shoe! Whoa, hey! Still, he graciously bestows his mercy upon the footwear jihadist:

CROWLEY: You think they’re going to let them out of custody?

BUSH: I don’t know what they’re going to do – he’s – I’m not even sure what his status is. They shouldn’t overreact.

Several broken bones and seven years in prison should be sufficient. [CNN]