· Our German's rusty, but did that zookeeper just say, "Hippopotamus calf meat is incredibly tender, and can be enjoyed with both reds and whites. What a delicious Christmas dinner awaits us this year!?"

· Richard Dreyfuss is suing his father and uncle for $4 million. THIS WAS NO BOAT ACCIDENT! We're not sure what that means, but suddenly felt the need to say that.
· 'Tis a delicious comeuppance when the performing-monkey hunted become the hunter.
· You know what that Andy Rooney grooming segment from last week's 60 Minutes needed? Slo-mo and a kicky soundtrack.
· Yes, that's Time's Person of the Year looking up longingly at some unseen leather daddy. Hey—we just pass this stuff along. (Extra points for that headline.)
OK, folks—that's all for now. Keep warm and dry!