University Siege Ends Triumphantly: No Detention For Revolutionaries!

The Siege of the New School, in which students occupied buildings, fought off cops, and terrified school president Bob Kerrey, has ended. Revolution wins! Exclusive first hand journalism—and wanton violence—below:

Here is the most outrageous instance of security guard brutality shown on the protesters' website:




"How dare you? Shame! Shame!" Is it me, or do these kids sound like Puritans who just found a witch? Sure, the guy is acting like a prick. But the response... eh. I don't see any blood. I didn't even see any punches. Come now.

What did the occupiers win as their greatest victory? Amnesty for themselves! That was their number one demand. What else did they win? Promises from Bob Kerrey—who is not resigning!—to really urge other people to consider possibly doing something about the things the kids are interested in.

Now for some true journalism: I happened to be walking down 14th street at 2:30 a.m. last night and stumbled on the scene of the occupation! I heard the chanting. I asked one girl what was going on. "I have no idea," she said. So I went to one of the police officers and asked if kids were still in the building. "I really don't know," he shrugged. "I'm just standing out here."

Many more cops were standing out there, at the door, on the street, and around the corner, looking bored. Students were chanting. I took some cell phone pictures (which won't work now, unfortunately, because they are Ansel Adams-like) and left about ten minutes later, with a newfound sympathy for cops, and their boring jobs, and the people they must deal with.

But! The students, as patently ridiculous as they are, were a bit inspiring too. The siege ended not too long after I left. But there were 50 or more kids out there, dancing foolishly, chanting foolishly, and hollering foolish slogans, which ultimately came to naught, just because they believed they could accomplish something. Which is more than you can say for most of us.

Now everybody go get laid!