Best comment of the week medals go to:
- From tammyfey in Three Shopping Weeks Until the End of Bill Kristol's Times Contract:
That froggy picture reminds me so much of Kermit: 'It Ain't Easy Bein' Absolutely Wrong About Everything All The Fucking Time'"
- From CaptainFantastic in Time Robotically Names Obama Person of the Year:
"I can tell, by the hat, that these pictures were taken in Havana."
- From contradicto in Molesters Ruin Kids' Letters To, Belief In, Santa Claus:
"Show Mommy where Santa touched you, using that doll Santa brought you."
- From AngelicaCeler in Do Snobby New Yorkers Hate Everyone From Cleveland?
"i find it pretty strange that the majority of the alter-egos represented herein are all at once engrossed, dismissive, and ill-informed. actually, i'm not surprised. most of the people commenting are likely just killing time at their specialized though pointless white collar jobs, whether they be based out of a rust belt town suffering for the misdeeds perpetuated by corporate america over the recent decades or a stifling megalopolis that has ballooned into a parody of itself. or in other words, some of you people–and i type that in a spirit of egalitarianism–are vapid, arbitrarily critical, and simply rehashing the same rote jokes. oh, so you watched that 30 rock episode, did you? or did you find the dig at cleveland in a final scene of wet hot american summer ever so titillating you soiled your favorite lynn ritchie silk skirt?! you don't say? oh! i like you! you're funny! well, i'd wager i could find far more crude, easily entertained, provincial individuals in the five boroughs than i could in either cleveland, or detroit, or st. louis, or chicago, or atlanta, or new orleans, or philly, or charleston (west virginia, of course), or portland (maine and oregon), or los angeles (ok, maybe not l.a.), or crawford (tejas), or that lovely connecticut town the hepburns would pass through on the way to their estate, etc. anyway, town pride and regionalism is some of the stupidest shit next to organized religion and silk screened blazers. and if you're trying to be funny, well, why not try mumbling it to yourselves or blogging about it (same thing). is anybody paying attention? but of course not."
- From Pope John Peeps II in Let's Talk Inanely About Hot Teen Sex!:
"Thomas Friedman writes:
So I felt a new idea burst upon me like a giant exploding ball of idea sweat. The first thing I did was write to the owners of high tech companies in Mumbai, Dusseldorf, Dublin and Moosejaw, Saskatchewan who later confirmed my suspicions. Kids. Are. Putting. Penises. In. Vaginas! Can you believe it. It's a process that can only occur now that the world has been flattened by telecommunications, and hottened up by global warming. In this age of hot flatness, children are now on an equal level with each other. Now that they have full view of each other's genitals, it's only natural that they desire them. Also, the hottenting up of our global climate means that the air is hotter, and it gets hotter IN HERE. And what happens when it gets hot IN HERE? Well as one reputed scientist says: "You take off all your clothes". So now we have a world of blazing hot genitals facing each other on a flat plain of equitable economic development and some entrepreneurial youngster is going to attemt something radical. This radical process is something that I, in a completely original statement of supreme cogency and intelligence, like to call "a vaginal-intra-be-peening". Now I should probably have warned you, because it's a highly sexy name. But in this new age of brand new sexual behaviour never before attempted, us of the previous generation cannot fail but look at things with truthful eyes. And spray into our truthful eyes the eyedrops of humility and comprehension. And then when our truthful eyes drip with excess humility and comprehension only then can we spend out time staring straight at the blazing sun of truth for at least 12 minutes, until the full blindness of this new age is bestowed on us."