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Fort Dix Plotters Convicted of Hating America

All of the alleged Fort Dix plotters have been acquitted of attempted murder, but five have been convicted of "conspiring to kill military personnel." This is the end of their ridiculous trial.

The six foreign-born Muslim men living in New Jersey were charged with a comical plot to break into Fort Dix and shoot their way back out, or something. They were in fact just shiftless lazy bums who disliked America but not enough to do anything about it until an overzealous FBI "informant" earned his $1,500 a week by goading them, repeatedly, into planning this bizarre Fort Dix thing.

The informant berated them into picking a target, and he encouraged them to stick with the plan every time they had second thoughts, with was often, because they were lazy and disorganized "terrorists" who'd be utterly unable to finance, plan, arrange, and carry out a terrorist attack of any kind without an FBI informant holding their hands and browbeating them into halfhearted jihad.

So good work, US Government. You are keeping us safe by keeping the mildly disgruntled Muslim versions of the characters from Clerks off the streets, forever.


Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at alexp@gawker.com.


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