Britney's Dad Given Court-Ordered Raise For Keeping Her Less Deliciously Insane

If there's anything Britney Spears needs right now, it's a reminder that everyone close to the pop star relies on her for their own financial well-being. But how lucrative is it to be her sponge?

Apparently, very! According to E!, Britney's father Jamie (who gave up a skyrocketing career in serving foil-wrapped crab cakes to take control of her finances) will be given a retroactive raise for doing little besides effusive nodding and sneaking Ativan into Britney's cheese grits:

Jamie, who has been receiving weekly payments of $2,500 from Britney's estate for serving as guide and guardian, will now get $16,000 per month to cover his workload from last January to November.

"He has been working extra hours related to various activities related to her music and her tour and activities necessary to the conservatorship," L.A. Superior Court Commissioner Reva Goetz said during Monday's hearing.

As of Dec. 1, however, the $2,500-per-week was back in play, Goetz ordered.

None of this includes the extra $1,500 a month Jamie will be getting for new office digs to conduct conservatorship business in, and $200,000 "for services rendered prior to the conservatorship" that will be going to Britney's older brother, Bryan, who is a cotrustee of her estate.

Sadly, Britney's mom Lynne gets nothing, despite her generous act to give up work as a self-employed personal shopper at Kitson. Think of all the medium-sized, $70 novelty tees ("Team Piven") that have gone tragically unbought, y'all!