Yaay! It's time for Barack Obama's report on the internal investigation into the Blago mess!
Ed Henry sez there were multiple calls between Blago and Rahm! But nothing bad happened in any of these conversations. They are trying to make sure the "seamier side of Chicago politics" does not hurt Obama, "who has obviously focused on a change message."
Oh but remember this is an internal report, not based on transcripts or sworn statements. Is this simply a political gesture? Who the hell is in the situation room, that isn't Wolf Blitzer.
Also, they got rid of "the crawl" and replaced it with... a white box with black text. The text doesn't "crawl" but it changes every ten seconds. It says: "Some skeptical about timing of release of Obama team report." Oh, "some." Good to know.
Also in this post-crawl world the main chyron on the screen keeps changing and the "BREAKING NEWS" tag like wipes on and off every second like they're using fucking BLINK tag. This is even busier than before, we aren't even paying attention to what they're saying, it's terrible. CNN should be arrested. Oh, commercial break. Let's try to read something?
Oh, ok, the Washington Post has a wire story on the report. Incoming General Counsel Greg Craig has a rhyming name, it is hard to say on television. Anyways! Rahm and Valerie Jarrett were "interviewed in connection with the federal investigation into Blagojevich."
Now Paul Begala is on TV talking about infrastructure. BREAKING NEWS! Ed Henry in Hawaii, reading that report! Ed Henry is literally reporting on this from a white sand fucking beach.
The president-elect himself was interviewed last week! On Thursday! There is some news!
Guys the document is literally five pages long why are Ed Henry and some AP reporter the only people reading it. Look, it's online (pdf! look out!), we'll just read it our own damn selves. Sheesh.
Ok, Valerie Jarrett talked with someone from SEIU about the Senate seat, and Blago, and there is this funny bit:
Ms. Jarrett recalls that Mr. Balanoff also told her that the Governor had raised with him the question of whether the Governor might be considered as a possible candidate to head up the Department of Health and Human Services in the new administration. Mr. Balanoff told Ms. Jarrett that he told the Governor that it would never happen. Jarrett concurred.
And that is it, for this report, good night, Merry Christmas.