Hef and the Body-Painted Twins Wish You a Very Perky, NSFW ChristmasS

It looks like we'll have to think of a new idea for the Defamer Christmas card, because Hugh Hefner and his 19-year-old twin concubines have gone and stolen ours.

We won't tell you exactly how we'd planned to bring it off (only that it involved Seth in a bathrobe, STV in booty shorts, and—in an eerie coincidence—proprietary "HUFF POST" watermarks), but we can guarantee it would have had higher production values than the Playboy founder's seemingly tossed-off card, the cover of which the Huffington Post has a copy of. Though twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon are present and randomly body-painted, there is a disappointing lack of either face-kicking or holiday blasphemy. With just a little more effort, we're certain a nativity scene could have been recreated where the Shannons nurse Hef in a manger, while the Three Wise Girls Next Door approach bearing gifts of silicone, cannabis, and little purple pills.