Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! As today is something of a news wasteland, expect lots of electronic stocking stuffers, blog regifting, and other forms of Defamer elfin magic.
Our first goodie comes by way of Videogum, who have compiled their list of The Worst People of 2008, and damn it if they didn't hit just about every name on Santa's shitlist. From Gwyneth Paltrow—who as Sancho Panza to Mario Batali's tapas bar-jousting Don Quixote demonstrated just how boring watching rich people eat their way through Europe can be—to David Blaine and his failed attempts at inverted-crane-suspension endurance, they've succeeded, where so many have failed, in compiling the definitive year-end asshole compendium. (We'll extend one index finger in objection for Kathy Griffin, but we can't really argue that she's been coasting on the "D-list" shtick for far too long. In other words, if Griffin's celebrity status were an L.A. Department of Health letter grade, we'd eat her burritos without hesitation.)
And now for your excerpt gift. How to choose, how to choose. How about some Manoj?
Oh man. This guy. Where to even begin. The chokers? The self-aggrandizement? Or should we just begin with the tone deaf unintentionally hilarious-but-so-hilarious movie he made about KILLER TREES? M. Night Shyamalan has been terrible at his job for a long time, with movies like Signs and Lady in the Water ranking among the worst movies of the past decade, but he really outdid himself with The Happening. In fact, it was so bad that you almost want him to keep going, just to see what his self-indulgently, filterless retard brain will come up with next. Almost. But actually you want him to stop.
What the hell—we're feeling generous. We'll throw in the infamous Mark Wahlberg Talks To Pharmacists About Cough Syrup scene from The Happening (Wahlberg made the list, too), and repurpose our M. Night birthday card as a holiday greeting. Don't mention it. You guys are worth it.
- The Worst People Of 2008 [Videogum]