Supermodel-Quarterback Marriage Investigated For Public Good

Incredible resources were deployed to figure out if Tom Brady is marrying Gisele Bundchen and to get Condé Nast's Chuck Townsend wherever the hell he wants to go, in style.

  • Patriots quarterback Tom Brady supposedly proposed to supermodel Gisele Bundchen aboard a private jet and is now engaged. Literally millions of reporters are investigating this rumor, right now, including at the Boston Globe, an actual real newspaper. [Sun]
  • Condé Nast wouldn't want you to think its CEO is flying to Hilton Head on a company jet while the company is closing magazines. I mean, honestly, Hilton Head? [P6]
  • MTV reality star Whitney Port is rumored not doing any actual work for employer Diane von Furstenberg. Why anyone would accuse Barry Diller's wife, of all people, of conducting a sham relationship is beyond us. [P6]
  • Madonna tried to spread the official story about her peaceful, happy Christmas with her children and ex-husband, but then a picture surfaced of her new Brazilian lover, and the British press soon decided she looked like an old freak, maybe Michael Jackson, specifically.
  • Michael Jackson (specifically) has a new $37 million home, secured by selling old junk inside his other home. [Sun]
  • David Mamet told his NYU students that Bill Cosby was a whore and that "only people who are full of shit whisper." The latter at least, is demonstrably and ridiculously unrue. [P6]
  • Mark Anthony will officially divorce Jennifer Lopez on Valentine's Day, at his concert. So romantic. [Gatecrasher]