Incredible resources were deployed to figure out if Tom Brady is marrying Gisele Bundchen and to get Condé Nast's Chuck Townsend wherever the hell he wants to go, in style.

  • Patriots quarterback Tom Brady supposedly proposed to supermodel Gisele Bundchen aboard a private jet and is now engaged. Literally millions of reporters are investigating this rumor, right now, including at the Boston Globe, an actual real newspaper. [Sun]
  • Condé Nast wouldn't want you to think its CEO is flying to Hilton Head on a company jet while the company is closing magazines. I mean, honestly, Hilton Head? [P6]
  • MTV reality star Whitney Port is rumored not doing any actual work for employer Diane von Furstenberg. Why anyone would accuse Barry Diller's wife, of all people, of conducting a sham relationship is beyond us. [P6]
  • Madonna tried to spread the official story about her peaceful, happy Christmas with her children and ex-husband, but then a picture surfaced of her new Brazilian lover, and the British press soon decided she looked like an old freak, maybe Michael Jackson, specifically.
  • Michael Jackson (specifically) has a new $37 million home, secured by selling old junk inside his other home. [Sun]
  • David Mamet told his NYU students that Bill Cosby was a whore and that "only people who are full of shit whisper." The latter at least, is demonstrably and ridiculously unrue. [P6]
  • Mark Anthony will officially divorce Jennifer Lopez on Valentine's Day, at his concert. So romantic. [Gatecrasher]