Caroline, No

No more Senator Kennedys! (Or Senators Kennedy?) Ever again! Boo to dynasties and entitlement!

Fair or not (it's not fair, because the governor of Alaska has the mind of a child and Caroline Kennedy is at least learned), the Sarah Palin label has stuck. It'd be a nightmare for the New York Democrats if she was appointed the seat for no good reason in the midst of the Blagojevich scandal.

Caroline's argument for receiving a free Senate seat is, you know, not much different from Michael Bloomberg's argument for remaining mayor of New York (or for running for mayor of New York in the first place): not a typical politician, beholden to nobody, allowed independence of thought and will through wealth and inexperience.

But dynasties suck, they are un-American and antidemocratic, and the Senate is already un-American and antidemocratic enough as it is (though this is also part of the argument that it makes no damn difference whether or not Caroline gets the seat—how is she worse than Lisa Murkowski exactly? Why does Wyoming still get two?).

Her weekend media availability was an unmitigated disaster. This was the only highlight:

NC: Could you, for the sake of storytelling, could you tell us a little bit about that moment, like, where you were, what you said to him about your decision, how that played out?

CK: Have you guys ever thought about writing for, like, a woman's magazine or something? (Laughter)

DH: What do you have against women's magazines?

CK: Nothing at all, but I thought you were the crack political team here.

Ha ha zing. But when they tried to ask her substantive questions her Bloomberg aides whisked her away. No financial disclosures until after the seat is hers!

The gross entitlement is the absolute worst part of her bizarre and mismanaged campaign. Of course her competition for the title is a similarly dynastic Cuomo, but he has at least been elected to something, publicly. We understand and are sympathetic to the arguments against career political hacks, but encouraging the Senate to resemble the House of Lords even more is just about the worst impulse possible.

But once again, look at the rest of the shortlist. There's Long Island asshole congressman Steve Israel, whose primary qualifications for the job are his ability to steer a great deal of pork to Long Island and his burning hatred for Jimmy Carter and Palestine. And Kristen Gillibrand, a Blue Dog anti-gun control pro-Bush tax cuts Democrat from a Conservative district. And anti-abortion Nassau County Executive Tom Suozzi. And Brian Higgins, who is from Buffalo. And Caroline Kennedy, the lofty, high-minded rich lady who thinks being appointed a Senator is like performing an act of charity for the nation, or maybe like being on America's co-op board. Also she's beginning to remind us of the woman in the atrocious Lexus ad whose new car is an even better present than her childhood pony.

Honestly the seat should just go to Fran Drescher.

Though it seems like what Paterson is banking on right now is that the Senate won't confirm Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State. Christmas miracle for everyone!