In Newbury, Vermont, nobody touches you. They're always behind this metal and glass. Matt Dillon thinks we miss that touch so much, he drove at an insane 106 mph before being busted by police yesterday.

According to People, the actor was doing that speed in a 65 mph zone, and received a mugshot, fingerprinting, and citation for his efforts. He was then bailed out by a defiant-but-forgiving Thandie Newton, who he promptly violated digitally until gangbangers (freed by a Mexican-led jailbreak) beat him up and kidnapped the actress. "You're ours now, amiga!" they hooted, until Ryan Phillippe showed up to shoot them in the back. "Be my African princess," Phillippe insisted. "But I'm British," said Newton. It didn't matter. In Newbury, Vermont, they could not see past the color of her skin.